its the beginning of the end

You know i never thought it would come to this day where i would just be so mad, that i dont want my mother in my life and i dont want her in my childs life, but you know what. i dont. she has never been a mother too me, she is mean, vendeterous, and evil spirited person. there is nothing god like about her. i hate her, i think im learning to hate her. and the whole family knows he is a fraud and they dont care. i gave up my life to deal with her shit and i took care of her kids and all she can think about is some fucking money that i owe her. she crashed my truck, i had to quit my job, and mess up my credit to deal with her crap, i had to go out and buy another car, cash. and she never once apologized, or said sorry, she just kept taking from me and while taking from me, verbally abusing me and breaking me down, until i felt like nothing, and keep feeling like nothing. i hate the day i asked her to help me and then again i wouldnt need no fucking help if i didnt have her kids. it must be my fault because i was the only stupid child to stick around and deal with her. im angry, very angry and im hurt. im tired of living my life as if i owe her something or if im the bad person. ill pray for her and i pray that god opens my heart and frees it from these issues i am burdened down with.